


Somnambulism

by reaperlight



Category: Death Note
Genre: Crack, Gore, Humor, Irony, M/M, Out of Character, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Sexual Humor, Slash if you squint, Sleepwalking, The Yotsuba arc, Wordcount: 100-1.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-18
Updated: 2013-03-18
Packaged: 2017-12-05 17:01:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/725687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reaperlight/pseuds/reaperlight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Light does not appreciate L’s sense of humor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Somnambulism

_“Another me could be killing people in my sleep!”_

***

Light didn’t really want to get up today; the hotel mattress felt like heaven—it felt so good to be sleeping in a bed again instead of that rock hard prison cot. In the two months he had been stuck in solitary he had noticed little difference between the cot and the floor and had slept on both. He didn’t even mind having to sleep with L—he was just glad to be out of that cell. Uh… not that he was _sleeping_ with L. (And as far as he could tell L never slept anyway.) 

As Light awoke a bit more he became aware that his hands felt wet. The half-awake teen brought them before his face to stare, in growing horror, at the dripping red that stained his fingers, his horror only intensified when his vision focused on a round glistening red sphere that stained the sheets red at the foot of the bed. The teen gave a startled cry and lurched backwards, his panic only increasing when his movements were momentarily impeded when his ankle got tangled in the blankets, scuttled away from the thing until his back slammed against the headboard of the hotel’s bed.

The teen genius forced his terrified mind to analyze the situation. There was what appeared to be a severed head at the end of the bed, blood on his hands, and the other half of the chain lay limply over the edge of the mattress. 

No, the obvious conclusion was clearly impossible. 

Did something happen to L? Did he leave him here alone after going on and on about how he didn’t want him out of his sight for even a moment or would he find the detective’s body beneath the bed? 

Whose head was that on the bed? The teen got a sinking feeling when he thought that it kind of looked like L’s. 

The man was terribly obnoxious but he didn’t wish him dead! _Right?_

And if L were to die that would put more suspicion on him! Besides he didn’t want Ryuuzaki dead. He was his friend….kind of. When he wasn’t being an ass and locking him up.

But then he couldn’t completely blame that on Ryuuzaki--he’d _asked_ to be locked up. 

Because he was worried… 

Worried that he might be killing in his sleep… 

_Oh, no… No, this isn’t possible!_

And even if he did somehow do something in his sleep he hardly had the body strength to go ripping peoples’ heads off! 

But with the amount of security here who else could have gotten in? L certainly didn’t do this to himself, right? Actually if Ryuuzaki was completely convinced he was Kira and couldn’t prove it, Light wouldn’t put it past him to kill himself and somehow blame him for it as a final “fuck you.” He’d rather die than admit to being wrong—that was just the kind of guy he was… 

Light’s heart felt like it had been replaced by a Taiko drum as he wheezed in several terrified breaths and commanded himself not to panic. The teen stopped and scowled when he smelled the liquid on his hands. It was not the coppery smell of blood. It was _paint._

The scowl deepened when he worked up the courage to closely examine the severed head which turned out to be just a very realistic prop. Since the paint was still wet it must have been applied not too long ago… 

_“RYUUZAKI!”_

The snickering from under the bed betrayed the detective’s location. 

_“I’M GONNA KILL YOU!”_

“67%.” 

The detective dodged the thrown pillow. 

“What the hell! You’re _sick!_ And now you accuse me of…” 

The detective had the gall to look wounded “It was only a joke, Light-kun.” 

“Well, I do not appreciate this brand of humor!” 

“Clearly... Breakfast?” L offered to share his plate of identical pastries, biting into one of them so that the strawberry filling came gushing out like special effects blood from a seventies horror movie. 

The teen, looking very green, tried to find somewhere to look in that hotel room that didn’t remind him of death. “I think I’ll pass.” 

“Catch!” 

That was all the warning he got before Ryuuzaki tossed him the fake head. 

No, no matter what Ryuuzaki said afterwards Light most definitely did _NOT_ shriek like a girl. 

Just then came a pounding at the door “What the hell is going on in there?!”

“Oh, nothing, Mr. Yagami. I’m only giving your son head!” L announced brightly.

Light groaned. This was going to be a _very long_ day.


End file.
